.

I want to write a story about a boy, that finds love. Theres a twist thouogh, The "love" he finds, kills him. and when hes in heaven, he realizes that he doesnt regret being with his "love" because he would do anything to make them happy.

hm.

Forever is never a good place to be. Im going to fucking die soon, and all they care about is what im wearing, who im dating, and what color my hair is. Nobody fucking gives a shit about how im doing. So i dont tell anyone about my plans. Im going to dissapere, and your never going to be able to fucking find me.

Just incase you decide to say that you loved be, knew me, befriended me, then im going to say this..

I hate every human being out there. You were never my friend. Eat shit bro.


Amen, Stupid fuckers.

Im feeling a bit... lonley.

"I know what it's like to feel alone.
And, that's why I stay alone, because I never want to feel alone again."

French, AGAIN!?!?

Oh man, today is going to be interesting, in PE my back started hurting out of no where, and it sucked. And it wasnt because of what you think it might me, because i took that off, and i still felt like shit.

I am going to be a better boyfriend, because yesterday, he scared me, and i realized on that humid bussride, that i need him.

secretiveness.

This is bullshit. You've been doing koke this hole time.  The day you decide to apologize, You almost Overdose on it. Good job buddy. Wayta make me feel like you meant what you said. And for the record,  i dont feel that bad about it.

On a side note, i dont like how your calling / spending more time with HIM than you are with me. My care for you, has dropped. I would be devastated if we did end things, but under these circumstances, i can forget you pretty easily.

On the other side, I know you still have feelings for Mr Koke Addict,  and thats okay. Tell him to apologize sober if he cares so much for you, and ill forgive his fucking stupid self.

I love you. and it feels weird not being with you. JS.
Tyler+Babe <3

ANND i am finished my rant.

-Amen motherfuckers.

French, never got more interesting.

Sitting in class. And thank god this school doesnt have this site blocked. Im finished my assignment, and there isnt much to do. I sit beside Emmy Lu, and she so happens to be the same tiny smug little bitch that everyone loves. Including myself. The lady definatly tells it like it is. 

The most popular words that linger the room are " I wish spring break was longer". Or course though, who the fuck doesnt. Talk about myspace and twitter. Stupid stupid talk. Well i guess its more productive than sitting in french class typing in this thing.

Anyways, as of now the only thing to look forward to is my birthday. And let me tell you i cant fucking wait. My Longboard will be the life of me, and i will buy the goods for my friends even if it excludes my own participation. I need to pay them back. I feel so bad about letting them pay for my buss fare, and spending their extra money on me. My bad.

Today i'm going to see Jaydenn, and it will be amazing. Kayla was right,. I will want to hang out with him again. Because i'm excited to see his face again. I was thinking of regret, but never, would i ever fucking hurt that boy. EVER. He is my everything. and when i find the words how to tell him, i will tell him, and it will be at the right place and time. and in person. He dated a clown. LOL.

Today, is a good day.

Recording

"Synopsis, I am a boy, who for the last three or four years has been caught in an undergoing challenge. My life has no meaning anymore. I will be with my father after this recording is made. Finally i will see his face once more. I love you. I feel as if i have failed all of you.. so im sorry. I know what im about to do wont stop the pain, but deflect if onto the ones i love, but need i must tell you, This will make me happy.  Shelby, you are the most beautiful girl in the world, dont let anyone stomp all over you, including any boy you fall for. Dont let your lack of smarts get in the way. Fight for whatever you want, and stay strong. 
Kayla; You are more gorgeous then the sun set behind the Colorado mountains, and let me tell you, That shits beautiful. Dont be so hidden in that shell of yours, and have a little trust. Dont let education take the better of you, Your still smart, No matter what they say. 
Jaydenn; You are the greatest thing that has ever happend to me. I regret so many things ive said to you. And all the hurt ive pressured on your heart. Im sorry i have never found the words to describe how i feel for you.. And im sorry. 
My life is a giant hole of dog shit. I have fought for too long.. and I have reached the end of what I have to give." The recorder clicks off, and he drags on his smoke.